Sexuality

Janis Hetherington – Part 19: "Marriage"

Marriage-handcuffsJanis Hetherington was the first UK woman in an openly same-sex couple to be artificially inseminated. In this, the 19th part of her exclusive autobiographical series for Biscuit, Janis ponders the issue of marriage.

So, let’s describe my dilemma. Marriage. Like not an agreement but the whole shebang.. crash bang wallop. Suddenly we (myself and my polyamour of 40 years) have a drawer full of invites. The present list alone would sort out Biscuit for life!!

What is it? How can you contemplate it if, like me, you know you are capable of having multiple sexual partners? What are you committing to? The right of equality? Is that all it is? To prove YOU have the right to be equal? But equal to what? As I understand marriage vows in my nearly 70 years on this odd and not so green planet I see it as a contract of bondage not always lovey dovey bliss. We (as playful partners) were supposed to be different. Yes we signed legal contracts over property and wills but nuptials….? Not our bag dear-hearts.

And no I am NOT naïve. I have fought many court cases that I would still have had to fight had I and my children been part of a conventional marriage contract. Equality yes. The right to choose yes. For those of us who’d be throttled by tying the knot, don’t make us look like non-committers. Security? That seems to be the issue. It always was in a failed marriage and those who specialise in the new brand of GAY MARRIAGE I fear will charge a premium when sorting out assets and unfortunately custody.
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Dear Joanna: "Am I bi enough?"

Untitled-2Dear Joanna,

For the most part I’m certain that I’m bisexual, but it seems like no matter how many times I seek support on the internet and am reassured that yes, it’s okay to be bisexual and lean more heavily towards guys, I still somehow don’t feel “gay” enough to legitimately call myself bi, or be a member of the LGBT community. I also only just recently came out to myself (as in, last week) which might contribute my feelings of not belonging to the LGBT community. Even though the word “bisexual” has been making occasional appearances in my mind for the last 4-5 years, I found it relatively easy to convince myself that I was straight. There was that time that I fooled around with a (girl) friend when I was about 13, but I just called it “experimentation”. And when I had a crush on another female friend from 15-16? I told myself it was just strong friendship, and any time my brain ever dared to label it an actual crush, I told myself I was just going through a phase. Except I’m 20 years old now and really don’t think it can be considered a phase anymore.

I’ve always supported the LGBT community, and grew up in a house that was very open-minded, though this wasn’t the norm for the rest of my family, who are heavily religious Christians. I have an aunt that enjoyed relationships with men until she very unexpectedly fell in love with a woman 15 years ago, whom she is still with today. The rest of my family still accepts my aunt’s presence and makes the effort to keep in touch with her, but it is generally understood that to ever bring her partner to a family event would be taboo. So it’s not that I actually have a problem with liking girls, because I don’t- I just understand how much easier it is to be straight, and wanted to fit that simple model. In fact, I’ve always viewed bisexuality with amazement: basically the definition of loving someone for what’s on the inside, rather than out, and now that I’ve accepted this aspect of myself I’m actually very proud of it, but I feel very unsure about telling people.
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You didn't hear it from us (9/03/2015)

gay_marriage_militaryHere’s a round-up of some of the news, blogs posts and comment we missed last week.

Fans vs fiction: Queerbaiting in "Supernatural"

“Queerbaiting is clinging to the heteronormative interpretation on the surface of things, and refusing to invalidate it, but still trying to present a queer reading in the background; metaphorically selling the hetero story from the front door, and the queer story out back.” Rowan

Sometimes we hold on, far past when we think we should call it quits, because of hope – painful, agonising, stubborn hope. For me, an important source of hope fizzled out in the wake of a Supernatural episode “Fan Fiction” that aired on Tuesday November 11, 2014. My hope ended with these words: you have your version, we have ours.

There’s plenty of speculation out there on whether Supernatural queerbaits its lead male characters Dean, Sam, and Castiel, but there’s no question in my mind that big media corporations recognise and make every attempt to profit over highly popular fan pairings, straight or otherwise. It’s the very heart of television marketing. Supernatural has explicitly acknowledged the popular ships “wincest” and “destiel” in the show itself, alerting fans that they see what they’re up to and know what they want. Wincest, as it involves two brothers, is highly unlikely to ever become an explicit relationship, but fans take the queerbaiting involving destiel, two non-related main male characters, seriously because why shouldn’t we?
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Biscuit Female Sexuality Index – the results are in!

bisexualityIt’s official! A new online survey of 1,000 British women reveals a startlingly open-minded attitude to same sex relationships.

Conducted by your friends at Biscuit, we recruited a random sample of women via Facebook, Twitter and Linkedin, asking them to choose which of 15 statements most closely described their sexuality.

While similar surveys ask respondents to identify themselves as ‘gay’, ‘straight’ or ‘bi’ (and sometimes ‘asexual’), Biscuit’s study reflects an increasingly accepted understanding that sexuality falls along a much more specific spectrum.

The study differentiated between behaviour and fantasy, revealing that 26.5% of women are fully bisexual, although some of this group did express a preference for one gender or another. However, the figure rises to 38% when taking into account straight women who have occasionally had sexual contact with a same-sex partner and gay women who have sometimes had sex with men.

The completely anonymous questionnaire did report a… Continue reading

UKIP councillor brands bis "part-time homosexuals"

Samuel Fletcher

Samuel Fletcher

Samuel Fletcher, town councillor for Bracken Bank and Ingrow Ward in Keighley, told his Facebook friends yesterday that he thinks that both bisexual and transsexual people are “part-time homosexuals”.

 

 

 

Thebackbencher.co.uk reported that he elaborated on this theory by adding that

a bisexual person is homosexual, it’s just that they’re, if you will, a part-time homosexual who can also be a heterosexual

while members of the trans community “changed their own sexuality [sic] to appeal to appeal to members of the opposite sex”.

Here is the full exchange from his facebook page:

Samuel Fletcher's Facebook Rant

Samuel Fletcher’s Facebook Rant

All those years we’ve been searching for a perfect way to explain bisexuality to people who don’t quite get it, and here it is – at last.

Oh. Dear.