"Can’t you just CHOOSE?": Being bi with a preference

8198164150_b3f8b496db_bI’m bisexual. Genuinely, dyed-in-the-wool bisexual. I shit pink, purple and blue, I pray nightly to the spirit of Saint Brenda Howard Mother of Pride and I know all the words to everything Ani DiFranco ever even thought about writing. I’ve spent most of my eight-year journalism career working in lesbian and bi media or writing about lesbian and bi issues in mainstream media and I recently founded Biscuit, the UK’s only site aimed specifically at bisexual women. Like all bisexuals, I am a 50/50 split between liking men/male-identifying people and liking women/female-identifying people.

Oh no, wait.

Actually, I’ve mostly dated men in the past. Quiet at the back! Contrary to popular belief, this does not in any way dilute my bisexuality. As you can see from my professional track record, my relationships with and attractions to women have probably not been just a tequila-fuelled giggle or a chance to impress… Continue reading

"Just leave your boyfriend at home…": Being Bi at Pride

it-s-ok-to-be-gay-prideWith pride happening in a few weeks, I have noticed posts cropping up around the internet, written by members of the gay and lesbian community, telling bi people if and how they should be attending Pride. The general consensus is that bi people can attend Pride if they are in a relationship with a “same sex” partner and if they do choose to attend with their “opposite sex” partner, they should keep quiet and refrain from showing public expressions of intimacy.

While the LG community often has problems with bi people, these issues seem to get intensified when the issues of Pride comes about. Despite the origins of Pride and the heavy involvement of bisexual (and trans) people in its early organisation, there seems to be a focus on open and visible gay celebration. But what happens when you are someone who is never able to be visibly queer, despite… Continue reading