Past the look: What is demisexuality?

love-560783_1280One thing that has bothered me for a while when it comes to LGBT+ spaces is that they are primarily focused on bars and clubs: spaces revolving around alcohol and casual sex. For me, as someone who doesn’t drink, they are only places I would go if I was with a larger group of queer friends. Outside of that however, it is rare that I come across somewhere that is both queer and casual that I would like to spend my weekends.

I have recently been doing some research on the asexual (ace) and aromantic (aro) communities that are included within the LGBT+ umbrella but are very often ignored. One main difficulty the ace community faces is people rebranding the “A” in LGBTQIA as being for allies and not asexuals. This erases them even further as they are replaced by non-queer representation, which is exactly, not, the point.

The problem with LGBT+ spaces being hypersexualised means that queer ace people could feel uncomfortable or unwelcome in queer spaces due to the heavy focus on indulging in casual sexual behaviour, which is totally fine and awesome if you are into that sort of thing, but if you aren’t it leaves you in the cold as to where to find queer spaces and likeminded queer individuals. This oversexualisation of queerness and queer spaces also means that asexuals get forgotten and are sometimes not seen as being “queer enough” to be part of the community. Which is something that to bisexuals sounds strangely familiar…
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The real thing: How to tell if it’s love or lust

Lujuria_Lust_Sensaciones_(3970127447)Megan Luscombe looks at the differences between love and lust

I’m the first to admit that I love all things romance. I’ve read all the classic love stories and watched every romcom that’s come out in the past 10 years, twice. Most people would say I fit into the ‘cheesy’ category sitting in the bleachers with all the Disney Princesses, but I don’t mind because I am lucky enough to understand what it is to call ‘real love’ and to know first hand what it takes to make it last.

Over the years I have come to understand and appreciate that love is a personal experience and topic. In fact I have learned that love is so completely individualistic no two people experience it the same, ever. I have been witness to the countless questions that come with understanding love and can say without hesitation that the one key confusion… Continue reading