notauser

Bad Day For A White Wedding: My Bridal Show Hell

bridal-636018_1280I recently plunged head-first into the world of wedding shows, having ignored adverts for years until now. I’m engaged, there’s a wedding to organise, and I thought I’d go along and see what was out there, having never planned such an event before. Intrigued by the whole process, I ended up going to not one, but two wedding shows. The plan was to only go to one, but I ended up adding myself to various mailing lists and was sent free tickets for the second one, so why the hell not? Marketed as an afternoon of girly fun where everyone sips champagne and tries out cake samples, it would be an experience, if nothing else.

If the shows confirmed one thing to me, it’s that I don’t want a typical “big white wedding”. However, I was also rather taken aback by the whole wedding industry in general. So much unnecessary… Continue reading

Straight-Bi Or Gay-Bi?: Playing To The Audience

bisexual-624743_1280“Yeah, I’ve had LOADS of girlfriends!” Elle Ford on the temptation to present differently to different groups…

Navigating the confusing, awkward, often embarrassing world of sexuality at best results in some good stories or maybe solid relationships. At worst, it ends in tears, pain, more confusion, and shame. For those individuals who do not conform to the dichotomous notion of gender and/or sexuality, navigating this world can get even messier. Although I do not completely like the term, (or being labeled at all for that matter), I am bisexual. This is not something I decided to try after hearing a Katy Perry song, or a curious college experience. It is something deep and intrinsically part of who I am as a person. I have the capability to desire, and love anyone of any sex.

Unfortunately, being born with a more fluid sexual identity does not come with an instruction manual.… Continue reading

Different for guys?: A look at male bisexuality

 

bimen

“When it comes to being bi, there are double standards according to gender”

Just how distinct is a bi man’s experience from a bi woman’s?

I suppose it’s something of an irony that when it comes to being bisexual, whatever that means, there are double standards when it comes to gender. Obviously, Biscuit is primarily concerned with the female experience but that experience necessarily involves men (if only theoretically). What I’d like to suggest is that when it comes to being bi, it’s most definitely different for boys.

It wasn’t long ago that I wrote a riposte to Barbara Ellen’s misconceived article in the Guardian, which explored the idea that men are less likely to act on bi-curious feelings than women.

It is perhaps worth reminding ourselves that, as a friend recently remarked during a discussion of sexual politics, what is deemed OK in contemporary culture is what turns… Continue reading

"Thrice the charm": The bi girl’s guide to threesomes

threesome

“Doing anything much this weekend?”

Wow, you’re bisexual! Do you want to have sex with me and my girlfriend?”- Some guy.

Tale as old as time, boy meets girl, girl is bi, guy hits on girl for threesome. Yes, this dynamic is messed up. But when we do it on our terms, threesomes can be amazing. Here are our top tips for making sure your ventures into the world of the three (or more) some are amazing.

1. Not every bisexual wants to have a threesome.

I cannot stress this enough. Just because someone is open to the idea of sexual or romantic involvement with members of more than one gender, it absolutely does not mean they want both at the same time.

Establishing that everyone involved is enthusiastically consenting before you get down to business is essential, as is checking consent during the fun times. Everyone must… Continue reading