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Eight Myths About Pansexuality, Debunked

downloadIt’s hard to deny that ignorances and misunderstandings about pansexuals exist, and the bisexual community is not immune – despite facing plenty of myths of our own.  Myths around bisexuality and pansexuality overlap, but pansexuality also attracts some unique prejudices. It’s time to put them all to bed, starting with eight of the most common panphobic myths.

MYTH: Pansexual is a new term

FACT: We’ve been seeing the word pansexual since at least 1924. It’s shifted in meaning since it was coined, of course, just like the words ‘bisexual’, ‘homosexual’ and even ‘furniture’, ‘girl’ and ‘manufacture’. That’s just how language works.

It was first used by contemporary critics of Freud such as Otto Rank and Wilhelm Reich in derision, as an ironic validation of Freud’s suggestion that “that the sex instinct plays the primary part in all human activity”; or that our libidos either directly or indirectly, drive… Continue reading

“Fancy a 3sum?”: Online Dating As A Bi Woman…

woman-731894_1920Looking for love and/or lust on the internet is hard enough, without having to contend with people’s ignorance about your sexuality. However, on the plus-side, it can be a great way to find like-minded people who genuinely accept you being bi…

The fact that I’m in search of a mono relationship is spelled out in nursery level English on all my dating profiles. Yet I’ve probably had at least 10 direct requests for threesomes just this month. I even had to block a man who took the time to send nine messages, each more fire and brimstone-filled than the last, explaining how my orgiastic lifestyle would land me in Hell.

It hasn’t all been doom and gloom, though. Having the chance to gauge whether or not a date will deal with the “b-bomb” OK is out of the way at the beginning, so by the time you’re at the meeting… Continue reading

“Is There Anyone Out There?”: Anonymous “Confessions” From Bi Whisper Users

Whisper is a website which allows people to submit anonymous posts about sensitive issues: in many cases, things they’ve not spoken about off-line… Here are some (often poignant) recent submissions from bisexual and questioning users.

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Dear Joanna: "Am I bi enough?"

Untitled-2Dear Joanna,

For the most part I’m certain that I’m bisexual, but it seems like no matter how many times I seek support on the internet and am reassured that yes, it’s okay to be bisexual and lean more heavily towards guys, I still somehow don’t feel “gay” enough to legitimately call myself bi, or be a member of the LGBT community. I also only just recently came out to myself (as in, last week) which might contribute my feelings of not belonging to the LGBT community. Even though the word “bisexual” has been making occasional appearances in my mind for the last 4-5 years, I found it relatively easy to convince myself that I was straight. There was that time that I fooled around with a (girl) friend when I was about 13, but I just called it “experimentation”. And when I had a crush on another female friend from 15-16? I told myself it was just strong friendship, and any time my brain ever dared to label it an actual crush, I told myself I was just going through a phase. Except I’m 20 years old now and really don’t think it can be considered a phase anymore.

I’ve always supported the LGBT community, and grew up in a house that was very open-minded, though this wasn’t the norm for the rest of my family, who are heavily religious Christians. I have an aunt that enjoyed relationships with men until she very unexpectedly fell in love with a woman 15 years ago, whom she is still with today. The rest of my family still accepts my aunt’s presence and makes the effort to keep in touch with her, but it is generally understood that to ever bring her partner to a family event would be taboo. So it’s not that I actually have a problem with liking girls, because I don’t- I just understand how much easier it is to be straight, and wanted to fit that simple model. In fact, I’ve always viewed bisexuality with amazement: basically the definition of loving someone for what’s on the inside, rather than out, and now that I’ve accepted this aspect of myself I’m actually very proud of it, but I feel very unsure about telling people.
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