Relationships

The real thing: How to tell if it’s love or lust

Lujuria_Lust_Sensaciones_(3970127447)Megan Luscombe looks at the differences between love and lust

I’m the first to admit that I love all things romance. I’ve read all the classic love stories and watched every romcom that’s come out in the past 10 years, twice. Most people would say I fit into the ‘cheesy’ category sitting in the bleachers with all the Disney Princesses, but I don’t mind because I am lucky enough to understand what it is to call ‘real love’ and to know first hand what it takes to make it last.

Over the years I have come to understand and appreciate that love is a personal experience and topic. In fact I have learned that love is so completely individualistic no two people experience it the same, ever. I have been witness to the countless questions that come with understanding love and can say without hesitation that the one key confusion… Continue reading

We speak to Domestic Abuse Caseworker Sarah Golightley

abusedwomanSarah Golightley, Domestic Abuse Caseworker for the London LGBT Domestic Abuse Partnership, tells Biscuit about the Partnership’s work

“The first few months were fantastic. She was charming, outgoing and I really liked her. But I started to sense things were moving a bit too quickly for me, particularly after she’d insisted we live together. That’s when things started to change for the worse. She started acting jealous around my friends. She’d constantly text me and call me up at work, asking where I’d been. Then she became aggressive. She’d make remarks about telling my family that I’m bi because she knew I’m wasn’t out to them. I sometimes feel intimated being around her, worried that I might accidentally upset her. Other times being with her is great: she apologises, but then something sparks her anger again. Sometimes she blames me for ‘making’ her upset. It feels confusing.”

This is a familiar story of domestic abuse faced by LGBT people. Some of the specifics might change: ‘she’ might be ‘he’ or ‘they’, or it could be abuse from a parent or an ex-partner. Your story could be very different. There may be pressure for you to have sex when you don’t want to. Perhaps there is physical violence, threats or bi-phobic remarks. It can be ongoing abuse, or a one-off incident. It might be hard to even think of it as being abuse at all. Is it that bad? How bad does it have to be before it’s considered to be abusive?
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When dating sites mix business & pleasure

businesscardfinalPete Langman networks while he flirts…

The key to success in business, or so they say, is building relationships, and the best networkers flirt their way into contact folders, tease out business cards and coquettishly demand direct lines.

I made an interesting connection recently. It began in the usual fashion. First contact. An introductory email. Formal, at first, then gradually, maybe a little furtively, the flirtation began. After a week, perhaps a few days more, we made an appointment. Arriving at the hotel-cum-golf club pretty much simultaneously, we parked, alighted and embraced, perhaps a little stiffly. ‘Shall we?’ she asked-cum-proposed, motioning towards the club house. I nodded and we walked towards the sprawling mess of a pseudo-ski chalet that held within it the bar and the promise of distinctly average coffee and the mystery that is the serving of an ‘americano, black’ with a small pot of milk.

We paused… Continue reading