queer

Apologising 101

apologizeWe’re all wrong sometimes. The key to our character lies in how we cope with that. An apology can go a long way to righting our wrongs, but, says El, only if we mean it. 

I had some, shall we say, ‘interesting’ interactions with another writer a few days ago. Now, I can’t say I take criticism perfectly myself, I’m a human being, I get defensive. I think almost everyone does. However, there are ways to deal with criticism, and this writer chose one of the worst. They felt it necessary to engage in a very public, rather unbecoming, debacle that took the form of a facebook thread.

I usually try to stay out of such things unless there’s a potential story in it, or some genuine discussion to be had, as changing the minds of strangers on the internet is generally only worthwhile if one is being paid… Continue reading

Giving Up Men is a Slippery Slope

Know-if-You-Are-Heterosexual-Step-10The bi-osphere (geddit!) has reacted angrily to the suggestion from one of our own that we ought to ‘give up men’. Arguments have been made on the basis of gender diversity, self-actualisation and repression.

Our Ed Libby thinks they’re missing one vital point.

Since the Gay Liberation movement first found its feet way back in the 1970s it has been asking bi women to call themselves lesbian, seek only relationships with women, and generally refuse to acknowledge their attraction to anyone else. It was, we were told, not fair to muddy the waters with multi-gender attraction. Better to stick to one and make things easy. It was an act of solidarity, they said. Attraction to one gender is just easier for people to understand. After all, weren’t we all working towards the same goal?

Similarly within the feminist movement, both bi- and heterosexuality were, in some quarters, roundly… Continue reading

Forget What the HuffPo Says – You Can Be Bi Your Way

pexels-photoYesterday, we published a response to the HuffPo blog ‘Calling All Bi Women – Give up Men’. Our inbox has been stuffed ever since. You aren’t happy and you’ve got a lot to say.

 Usually, we have a rule against publishing more than one response to an online article. Today we’re breaking that rule to provide two more rebuttals. And then, we promise, we’re never talking about it again.

I logged onto Twitter this afternoon to find all of the bisexual accounts and organisations I follow talking about a recent HuffPo article. And not favourably.

The title alone made me recoil – Calling All Bi Women – Give Up Men! But I know that headlines are usually written by subeditors, rather than writers. They can be designed to drive clicks, rather than accurately reflecting the content. So I decided to read on. 

Let’s start with the… Continue reading

“It boils down to visibility in the end”: We talk to Marcus Morgan about CaBiRet

cabiret

Following the success of CaBiRet in October, and with whispers on the wind of another event in the new year, we caught up with Marcus Morgan of the Bisexual Index to find out how CaBiRet came about – and what we can hope for in the future. 

Hello Marcus. Let’s get right down to business. How did the idea for CaBiRet come about?

As August progressed I found myself looking ahead to Bisexual Visibility Day. Looking ahead but not so much looking forward. I realised that although there were things planned for the launch of the book I’d been involved with, Purple Prose, I didn’t have any bisexual events I could go to for Bi Visibility Day itself.

There wasn’t anything in London on the day?

That’s right. And not just geographically – the sort of event I would want to go to wasn’t happening. I have very fond… Continue reading

Up For the Weekend: A Conversation with a Chem Sex Regular

imagesChem sex has been in the headlines recently, but how many of us know what really goes on? Artist and writer Sally Wyatt talks to an ex-chem sex regular. 

“Gay and bi men are being killed by seduction, and sex sites are letting this happen” he said, taking a sip of his skinny latte.

I look at Paul, a social worker in his 30s, who looks like a model from the autumn/winter Gap catalogue. I wonder if I have heard him correctly.

“How do you mean? “  I say.

“Sites like Grindr. People on there. They practically advertise chem sessions.”

“Sorry what’s a chem session?” I ask.

Paul gives me an astonished look.

“You know, where everyone comes, gets high on meth and has lots of sex.”

At this point, I have to confess I’m out of my depth, as I am a complete failure when it… Continue reading

There’s no “I’m Bi” Speech Bubble: Bisexuality in Comics

17615895The world of comics has long been a haven for stories that the rest of the literary world aren’t quite ready for. Perhaps that is why a whole raft of LGBT+ characters have found a home in this medium over the years.
The first comic book series I fell in love with was Neil Gaiman’s Sandman. Amongst the characters in this epic series were gay faerie Cluracan, lesbians Judy, Donna and Hazel, trans character Wanda and the quite-literally-genderfluid Desire.

It’s fair to say that Sandman was ahead of its time in terms of queer representation. However even in such an inclusive comic, there were no overtly bisexual characters. Realising this got me thinking about some of my favourite modern comic books. Here, I examine three series’, to determine if bisexuality has yet found a place in the medium. (Please note the following discussions contain some minor, character-based… Continue reading

Attitudes to Bisexuals Shift from Negative to Neutral

writing-1149962_960_720A Study by Indiana University’s Center for Sexual Health Promotion has found attitudes towards bisexual people are slightly better than previously.

The study, led by Brian Dodge, associate professor in the Department of Applied Health Science and associate director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University’s School of Public Health in Bloomington, is to be presented today at the Annual Meeting of the American Public Health Association in Denver, Colorado.

The study is only the second to explore attitudes toward bisexual men and women — those with the capacity for physical, romantic and/or sexual attraction to more than one sex or gender — in a nationally representative sample. It is also the first to do so with a sample of gay, lesbian and other-identified individuals (pansexual, queer and other identity labels), in addition to those who identify as heterosexuals. The nationally representative sample was… Continue reading

Emmerdale Demonstrates How to Get Bisexuality Right

emmerdale00031Last week rural soap Emmerdale broke an unwritten rule of primetime storytelling: you don’t say bisexual. Robron fan Charlie tells us what else they’re getting right.

Finding an on-screen bisexual is about ten times harder than finding one in real life. This is because films and TV shows seem to have an obsession with alternating a character’s sexuality depending on who they are with at that current moment – especially in soap operas. ITV soap Emmerdale, has been no stranger to this trend. 

Ali, who was on the show last year with her partner Ruby, was the butt of many lesbian jokes as she left her husband to be with her new girlfriend, yet it was never explored whether she was bisexual or gay. Earlier this year, a plotline involving Lawrence’s old lover returning did nothing but create confusion regarding his sexuality, since he had been in… Continue reading

Seven Myths About Asexuality, Debunked

2000px-asexual_flag-svgAsexuality – not experiencing sexual attraction – is one of the least widely understood sexual identities, and myths abound. In honour of Asexual Awareness Week, we’ve rounded up eight of the most common misunderstandings, ripe for debunking.

MYTH: Asexuality is just a made up new sexuality.

FACT: Leaving aside that all sexual identity labels are ‘made up’ at some point, the word ‘asexual’ has been used in its current sense since the 1890s. That’s exactly the same length of time as ‘homosexual’ has been around.

MYTH: Asexuality is just a fancy way of saying abstinent or celibate.

FACT: Abstinence is a behaviour. It is the choice not to engage in sexual activity. People who have chosen abstinence or celibacy still experience sexual attraction. By comparison, asexuality is defined by a lack of sexual attraction and is not a choice.

 

MYTH: Asexual people never have sex.

FACT:… Continue reading

The Biscuit Guide to Coming Out as Bisexual

 

doorIn honour of National Coming Out Day tomorrow, Biscuit presents our guide to coming out as bi.
Coming out, as many bisexuals will tell you, isn’t a one off event. Once you’ve done it once, you’ll find yourself doing it all the time; to potential partners and new friends, to healthcare providers and public services. Because the gender of our partner or date doesn’t announce our sexuality, we find ourselves coming out more often than most. We never entirely get over the fear of coming out to someone new, but there’s no denying it gets easier.

Coming out for the first time, though, can be daunting. When you feel like you’ve been carrying an exhausting secret, the thought that you might be soon letting it go can be overwhelming, and not all of those thoughts are positive. Anxieties about how your life might change, or how your revelation might be received… Continue reading