parenting

“My Sexuality is Relevant to All Parts of My Life”: Parenting while Bisexual

child-355176_1920Being a bi parent is a bit like having a super power. A super power that you really don’t want and which gives you the ability to feel both highly conspicuous and completely invisible. An impostor in Parentland. It feels isolating, but I am certain I am around other queer people on a daily basis who feel just as closeted as I do by the culture that surrounds parenting infants.

I think an identity shift when becoming a parent is quite common, but my sexuality is something that has stayed consistent. I have always been bi, even before I knew that that was what I should call myself. This is not the same for everyone, and that’s perfectly valid too. My sexuality would still matter even if I only started identifying as bi since becoming a parent, or last week, or just yesterday.
Clearly, a children’s play… Continue reading

Bi, Poly, Parent, Anti-christ: Parenting while bi in a straight, straight world.

identity-683963_1280What do you get when you combine two mums, a dad, fourteen children and a conservative society? Why, a super villain of course! Valarie Clark-Neff takes wry look at the pitfalls of parenting while polyamorous and bi…

Dear children,

Please be advised: Your mom is a supervillain, hell-bent on destroying the patriarchy. She sometimes assumes civilian form and tries to blend into mainstream (straight) society, but much of her time is spent as a misandrist miscreant, fighting against biphobia, homophobia, misogyny, and other forms of bigotry.

You see the society you are inheriting is full of power hungry people who believe there is only one right way to have a family – with the man as the head of the household and the woman and children supporting him in his endeavors. The structure of this ideal family in our society is rigid and doesn’t allow for variation. It divides society… Continue reading

No Drama: Coming out as bi* shouldn't need special treatment

father_and_daughter_by_panda_cupcake-d32nfv3When queer parents have queer children, coming out shouldn’t be a big deal. Amy L ask why Yahoo Parenting think bisexuality deserves special treatment…

 

Let me tell you the story of how I came out to my mum. Everyone sitting comfortably?…

In my late teens I came to the conclusion that I was bi. In a moment of celebration, and in true teenage style, I customised a t-shirt to show it. On the front I wrote ‘I like girls…’, on the back ‘and boys and chocolate spread. Yum’. On a shopping trip with my sister, this t-shirt received some attention from a couple of young shop assistants who gleefully asked if I was bi (note: no biphobia or bierasure. It can happen). My sister was a little embarrassed by this and when I got home I told my Mum all about it, coming out sideways, via anecdote, rather than… Continue reading

Janis Hetherington – Part 19: "Marriage"

Marriage-handcuffsJanis Hetherington was the first UK woman in an openly same-sex couple to be artificially inseminated. In this, the 19th part of her exclusive autobiographical series for Biscuit, Janis ponders the issue of marriage.

So, let’s describe my dilemma. Marriage. Like not an agreement but the whole shebang.. crash bang wallop. Suddenly we (myself and my polyamour of 40 years) have a drawer full of invites. The present list alone would sort out Biscuit for life!!

What is it? How can you contemplate it if, like me, you know you are capable of having multiple sexual partners? What are you committing to? The right of equality? Is that all it is? To prove YOU have the right to be equal? But equal to what? As I understand marriage vows in my nearly 70 years on this odd and not so green planet I see it as a contract of bondage not always lovey dovey bliss. We (as playful partners) were supposed to be different. Yes we signed legal contracts over property and wills but nuptials….? Not our bag dear-hearts.

And no I am NOT naïve. I have fought many court cases that I would still have had to fight had I and my children been part of a conventional marriage contract. Equality yes. The right to choose yes. For those of us who’d be throttled by tying the knot, don’t make us look like non-committers. Security? That seems to be the issue. It always was in a failed marriage and those who specialise in the new brand of GAY MARRIAGE I fear will charge a premium when sorting out assets and unfortunately custody.
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