The Biscuit Purple List 2015
Your nominations have been collected, heated discussions have been had and disagreements have been thwarted, and now we are proud to be able to present the first ever Biscuit Purple List.
The Purple List was conceived as a reaction to the bi-erasure of similar honours lists, which neither recognise the work done that specifically benefits the bisexual community, nor the importance using the word ‘bisexual’ to describe the non-monosexual people who do appear in them.
We think that it’s important to make a really big deal about the awesome people who give their time, energy, cash and resources to make life a little bit better for bisexual people. As a group we have lower rates of well being than gay and lesbian identified people. We’re more likely to commit suicide and to self harm. We are more likely to misuse drugs. Our teens have … Continue reading
Activating our Bi-dar: a future for the bisexual community
Most of us are familiar with the term gaydar. It is the ‘intuitive’ ability to assess if someone is not straight. But then, there you have it. It implies that you can only be gay or straight. What about all of us bisexuals? What happens to us when someone erroneously assumes we are straight or gay? As Shiri Eisner points out in Bi: Notes for a Bisexual Revolution: “Since our bisexuality is not ‘known’ to have any visual markers, we are routinely accused of fraudulence, perceived as invisible, and forced to deal with others’ doubts regarding our identities and our oppression.”
The terms ‘gay’ and ‘straight’ present a simplified and more palatable understanding of how the world works. In fact, the Western, minority world has a long-standing affinity for binaries – so much so that binarist ways of thinking and acting go unquestioned. Anthropologists have a term for this: ‘Doxa’ – the stuff that goes without saying. Good /bad; male/female; child/adult; life/death; straight/gay: are all binarist, seldom questioned, ways of making sense of the world. Anything in between, that doesn’t fall neatly into one or the other category, is feared and sometimes reviled.
As part of our Judeo-Christian heritage, we tend to divide everything into rigid categories of good and bad so often, we don’t give it much critical thought. For example, the male/female binary is left unquestioned, and it is assumed to be natural and inherent. Any person who falls outside that binary is a social outcast. Puberty, is another example of a liminal state of existence between childhood and adulthood, and as such is often scorned. Teenagers are depicted in Western culture as individuals who are caught between childhood and adulthood and are therefore unstable and dangerous. Those stages between life and death are rejected as unnatural and even repulsive because they defy our strict separation between those categories: life and death. States of being like depression and chronic illness that are between being fully alive and dead, are considered to be something to avoid at all costs.
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Janis Hetherington – Part 19: "Marriage"
Janis Hetherington was the first UK woman in an openly same-sex couple to be artificially inseminated. In this, the 19th part of her exclusive autobiographical series for Biscuit, Janis ponders the issue of marriage.
So, let’s describe my dilemma. Marriage. Like not an agreement but the whole shebang.. crash bang wallop. Suddenly we (myself and my polyamour of 40 years) have a drawer full of invites. The present list alone would sort out Biscuit for life!!
What is it? How can you contemplate it if, like me, you know you are capable of having multiple sexual partners? What are you committing to? The right of equality? Is that all it is? To prove YOU have the right to be equal? But equal to what? As I understand marriage vows in my nearly 70 years on this odd and not so green planet I see it as a contract of bondage not always lovey dovey bliss. We (as playful partners) were supposed to be different. Yes we signed legal contracts over property and wills but nuptials….? Not our bag dear-hearts.
And no I am NOT naïve. I have fought many court cases that I would still have had to fight had I and my children been part of a conventional marriage contract. Equality yes. The right to choose yes. For those of us who’d be throttled by tying the knot, don’t make us look like non-committers. Security? That seems to be the issue. It always was in a failed marriage and those who specialise in the new brand of GAY MARRIAGE I fear will charge a premium when sorting out assets and unfortunately custody.
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"The impossibility of okay": When "allies" let us down
As you pass me in the hallway you ask, “Are you okay?” I cannot give you the answer you want to hear. I know you hope I’m okay with you. You wish that I would accept your sad decision and embrace you. I simply can’t. Your poor decision makes this impossible. You claim to support the LGBT community, but deep down, we make you squirm. While you said one thing, you did another. You chose to acquiesce to the status quo because it was safe for you.
You claim we need to compromise. Why can’t you see that I’m not able to support your position of “compromise?” It isn’t compromise when one side is completely shut out of the conversation. How can I support this position? I am bisexual, not merely someone who joined a cause. You can walk away, as you did when it mattered most. You can go home from discussions, meetings, luncheons, marches, rallies, fundraisers. You go home and pat yourself on the back for a job well done, letting it slip from your mind, as just another one of many causes you choose to support.
You may be able to settle for less than full equality, but because I am bisexual, this isn’t an option. It is a core part of who I am. When I’m at home, I am bisexual. When I go to work, I am bisexual. When I take my kids to school, I am bisexual. When I make love to my husband, yes, even then, I am bisexual. I am bisexual when I eat, sleep, bathe, and breathe. I am always bisexual. I will always be bisexual. It is who I am! I am not a cause or movement! I am bisexual!
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"A queer call to arms": Why I'm setting up a bi youth group