Asexuality – not experiencing sexual attraction – is one of the least widely understood sexual identities, and myths abound. In honour of Asexual Awareness Week, we’ve rounded up eight of the most common misunderstandings, ripe for debunking.
MYTH: Asexuality is just a made up new sexuality.
FACT: Leaving aside that all sexual identity labels are ‘made up’ at some point, the word ‘asexual’ has been used in its current sense since the 1890s. That’s exactly the same length of time as ‘homosexual’ has been around.
MYTH: Asexuality is just a fancy way of saying abstinent or celibate.
FACT: Abstinence is a behaviour. It is the choice not to engage in sexual activity. People who have chosen abstinence or celibacy still experience sexual attraction. By comparison, asexuality is defined by a lack of sexual attraction and is not a choice.
MYTH: Asexual people never have sex.
FACT:… Continue reading
It’s hard to deny that ignorances and misunderstandings about pansexuals exist, and the bisexual community is not immune – despite facing plenty of myths of our own. Myths around bisexuality and pansexuality overlap, but pansexuality also attracts some unique prejudices. It’s time to put them all to bed, starting with eight of the most common panphobic myths.
MYTH: Pansexual is a new term
FACT: We’ve been seeing the word pansexual since at least 1924. It’s shifted in meaning since it was coined, of course, just like the words ‘bisexual’, ‘homosexual’ and even ‘furniture’, ‘girl’ and ‘manufacture’. That’s just how language works.
It was first used by contemporary critics of Freud such as Otto Rank and Wilhelm Reich in derision, as an ironic validation of Freud’s suggestion that “that the sex instinct plays the primary part in all human activity”; or that our libidos either directly or indirectly, drive… Continue reading
“I’m still bisexual.” It’s the phrase we utter to our friends and lovers, our families and co-workers, year after year, until we’re blue in the face. It’s difficult to accept that reminding people of our bisexuality is both necessary and never-ending, so some of us abandon it altogether out of tedium or to avoid the scoffs and disbelief our orientation often inspires.
In the short-term, it seems easier if we’re partnered to just let people assume we are straight or gay. We let our bisexuality slip into our silent pasts just to make our boyfriends, girlfriends, wives and husbands feel more comfortable. But making everyone else more comfortable is coming at a tremendous expense to our own health and happiness. And it needs to stop. We need another way.
Going to the trouble of reminding people we are still bisexual is about choosing truth over convenience and… Continue reading
10 things to never say to a bi who hasn't tried it…