LGBT

Apologising 101

apologizeWe’re all wrong sometimes. The key to our character lies in how we cope with that. An apology can go a long way to righting our wrongs, but, says El, only if we mean it. 

I had some, shall we say, ‘interesting’ interactions with another writer a few days ago. Now, I can’t say I take criticism perfectly myself, I’m a human being, I get defensive. I think almost everyone does. However, there are ways to deal with criticism, and this writer chose one of the worst. They felt it necessary to engage in a very public, rather unbecoming, debacle that took the form of a facebook thread.

I usually try to stay out of such things unless there’s a potential story in it, or some genuine discussion to be had, as changing the minds of strangers on the internet is generally only worthwhile if one is being paid… Continue reading

Giving Up Men is a Slippery Slope

Know-if-You-Are-Heterosexual-Step-10The bi-osphere (geddit!) has reacted angrily to the suggestion from one of our own that we ought to ‘give up men’. Arguments have been made on the basis of gender diversity, self-actualisation and repression.

Our Ed Libby thinks they’re missing one vital point.

Since the Gay Liberation movement first found its feet way back in the 1970s it has been asking bi women to call themselves lesbian, seek only relationships with women, and generally refuse to acknowledge their attraction to anyone else. It was, we were told, not fair to muddy the waters with multi-gender attraction. Better to stick to one and make things easy. It was an act of solidarity, they said. Attraction to one gender is just easier for people to understand. After all, weren’t we all working towards the same goal?

Similarly within the feminist movement, both bi- and heterosexuality were, in some quarters, roundly… Continue reading

Forget What the HuffPo Says – You Can Be Bi Your Way

pexels-photoYesterday, we published a response to the HuffPo blog ‘Calling All Bi Women – Give up Men’. Our inbox has been stuffed ever since. You aren’t happy and you’ve got a lot to say.

 Usually, we have a rule against publishing more than one response to an online article. Today we’re breaking that rule to provide two more rebuttals. And then, we promise, we’re never talking about it again.

I logged onto Twitter this afternoon to find all of the bisexual accounts and organisations I follow talking about a recent HuffPo article. And not favourably.

The title alone made me recoil – Calling All Bi Women – Give Up Men! But I know that headlines are usually written by subeditors, rather than writers. They can be designed to drive clicks, rather than accurately reflecting the content. So I decided to read on. 

Let’s start with the… Continue reading

Give Up Men? But Why?


images (1)When Huffington Post published a blog by Kylie Barton entitled “Calling Bisexual Women: Give Up Men!”, bisexual twitter exploded. Tweet after tweet came in, calling out the blog’s author for internalised biophobia, hierarchical thinking, and logical fallacy after logical fallacy. In a community where gay men and women frequently posit that their relationships outrank ours on the scale of queer, here was a bi woman doing it too. 

Buckle in, because it’s going to get bumpy.

This entire response can be summed up in one word: No. However, that wouldn’t make a very good article, so I shall continue.
I won’t stop dating men, just as I won’t stop dating women, and I won’t stop dating nonbinary people. I won’t have anyone else policing my romantic or sexual life, regardless of their sexuality. I don’t fuck with biphobic respectability politics from within our outside of the LGBT+ community,… Continue reading

CaBiRet Returns

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“It boils down to visibility in the end”: We talk to Marcus Morgan about CaBiRet

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Following the success of CaBiRet in October, and with whispers on the wind of another event in the new year, we caught up with Marcus Morgan of the Bisexual Index to find out how CaBiRet came about – and what we can hope for in the future. 

Hello Marcus. Let’s get right down to business. How did the idea for CaBiRet come about?

As August progressed I found myself looking ahead to Bisexual Visibility Day. Looking ahead but not so much looking forward. I realised that although there were things planned for the launch of the book I’d been involved with, Purple Prose, I didn’t have any bisexual events I could go to for Bi Visibility Day itself.

There wasn’t anything in London on the day?

That’s right. And not just geographically – the sort of event I would want to go to wasn’t happening. I have very fond… Continue reading

Up For the Weekend: A Conversation with a Chem Sex Regular

imagesChem sex has been in the headlines recently, but how many of us know what really goes on? Artist and writer Sally Wyatt talks to an ex-chem sex regular. 

“Gay and bi men are being killed by seduction, and sex sites are letting this happen” he said, taking a sip of his skinny latte.

I look at Paul, a social worker in his 30s, who looks like a model from the autumn/winter Gap catalogue. I wonder if I have heard him correctly.

“How do you mean? “  I say.

“Sites like Grindr. People on there. They practically advertise chem sessions.”

“Sorry what’s a chem session?” I ask.

Paul gives me an astonished look.

“You know, where everyone comes, gets high on meth and has lots of sex.”

At this point, I have to confess I’m out of my depth, as I am a complete failure when it… Continue reading

Attitudes to Bisexuals Shift from Negative to Neutral

writing-1149962_960_720A Study by Indiana University’s Center for Sexual Health Promotion has found attitudes towards bisexual people are slightly better than previously.

The study, led by Brian Dodge, associate professor in the Department of Applied Health Science and associate director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University’s School of Public Health in Bloomington, is to be presented today at the Annual Meeting of the American Public Health Association in Denver, Colorado.

The study is only the second to explore attitudes toward bisexual men and women — those with the capacity for physical, romantic and/or sexual attraction to more than one sex or gender — in a nationally representative sample. It is also the first to do so with a sample of gay, lesbian and other-identified individuals (pansexual, queer and other identity labels), in addition to those who identify as heterosexuals. The nationally representative sample was… Continue reading

A Day in the Life of a Bi Asexual

169249078_475b70b357_zTo round of Asexuality Awareness Week, we asked our readers to tell us their stories. Here Julia takes us through how it feels to identify both as asexual and bi.  From getting tired of always being the teacher to so many inappropriate questions, you may find some familiar issues…

“Why is the group called Lesbian and Gay?” I ask, somewhat naively.

“As opposed to what?” answers one of the organisers.

“LGBT…”

“LGBTQ…”

“LGBTQA…”

I’m sitting in an Amsterdam park having a picnic with a group of LGBT people who have met through meetup.com. I’ve been in the country a fraction over 24 hours. I’ve just moved to a new city, and I’m determined to meet new people and not wallow in the self-pity of my country going to pot. Alas, my lack of sleep means I’ve not stopped my mouth running away before my brain… Continue reading

A is for Asexual: Being an Ally to the Asexual Community

imagesAsexuality is a misunderstood and often overlooked group within the LGBTQIA+. Over the years they’ve had to fight, often alone, for recognition within both the LGBT community and within scientific circles. For a large portion of the twentieth century, what we now understand to be just another orientation was seen as a disorder or hormonal imbalance. After overcoming the scientific misunderstandings, asexual activists dedicated attention to overcoming misunderstandings within the LGBT community.

A quick tag search on Tumblr and a few hours spent reading the pages of discourse will show that despite the best efforts of asexuals, the LGBT has been somewhat unwelcoming. This is something I tried to tackle in my article for The Matador Network, A Bisexual Call to Arms in Support of Asexuals, where I discuss the importance of bisexuals supporting asexuals, since our two communities truly do share things in common.

Simply reading an article… Continue reading