Coming Out Sucked: How Biphobia Ruined My Coming Out
Coming out in the new millennium is nothing like it was for our predecessors, or we’re told. For them coming out was fearful and even dangerous. For us it should be a joyous occasion. Unfortunately, that’s not always the case. Biphobia, both external and internal, can make coming out just as hard as it ever was. Here, Alex takes us through her journey.
Coming out sucked.
I remember looking out over the black water as I stood in my favourite thinking place – a now eerily empty and quiet park on my way home in Berlin – and saying those three magical words for the first time: I am bisexual.
The thing is, they didn’t feel magical at all. I spat them out like bile rising in my throat. They never soared, they fell right back down on me, paralysing me with fear and dread. Those three words were… Continue reading
“I’m Not Interested In Moaning That All Men Are Hard Done By” – A Defence of Women Only Spaces
It seems like one of those debates that never ends: are woman only spaces empowering or discriminatory? Are they valuable or dated and unnecessary? Do they build bonds, or build walls?
We hear a lot from men who are against the concept, but bi activist Grant Denkinson is not one of them.
I’m a bisexual cisgender man and if women choose women-only spaces that is their business and not mine.
However, some people might be interested in my opinions including other men processing how they feel:
The first thing I think of is feeling excluded; unwanted; not allowed in. I’m a bit sensitive to that sort of thing as many of us are. I might feel a bit frustrated or annoyed. One of the things I’ve learned from polyamory is to stop a moment and take notice of feelings like jealousy; This might be a similar feeling. I… Continue reading
“If You Wanted Support, You Sent Off For Leaflets” – Finding a Bi Community Before the Internet
We at Biscuit are constantly surprised how many people simply don’t know that a vibrant and active bisexual community exists in the UK. In the digital age it’s much easier than ever before to connect with people just like you, but what did people do before Google? We asked Marcus Morgan of the Bisexual Index to tell us how he found a community he could call home.
The story of how I came to find the UK bisexual community is one I tell often – if you’ve heard it before I apologise – but it’s a useful example of the subtle, or perhaps not so subtle, biphobia we encounter. Of the way we are delegitimised with the kindest intentions.
I was 21 years old. I worked in a high street insurance brokers on the outskirts of London. I had keys to lock up the shop so I waited… Continue reading
Five Ways You Can Look After Bi Mental Health
Bisexual Mental Health Month (BMHM) may feel long over, but that doesn’t mean you need to wait another year to discuss the sweeping mental health issues facing the bi+ community, or to feel guilt-free about focusing on your own mental health troubles. Here are a few things bi+ people and our allies can do to help safeguard the mental health of the bi+ community.
BMHM is an American campaign that runs throughout March to raise awareness of the mental health issues facing the bisexual community. Due to its online presence, it’s beginning to become internationally observed. But mental health doesn’t isn’t just an issue once a year. Here’s how you can look after yours, and others, all year round.
Find bi+ friendly support
Unfortunately, many bisexual people have difficulty getting support for their mental health issues, despite having some of the worse mental health stats in the LGBT+ community.… Continue reading
Manchester LGBT Foundation Launches Bi Series
Manchester’s LGBT Foundation today launched a series of events aimed at the bisexual community.
The launch event, which was live-streamed on Facebook, included a talk on the forgotten history of bisexuals in the LGBT movement given by Bisexual Community News editor and recent MBE recipient Jen Yockney.
Speaking to a packed hall, Yockney spoke of the rich and varied history of the bisexual moment, from the erasure faced by the community in the early 1990s – some of which continues today – through protests against Section 28 and right up to the present day.
Great talk by @jenyockney at the #peopleshistorymuseum #Manchester @LGBTfdn busting myths about #bisexuality #biseries #lgbthistorymonth pic.twitter.com/4GXdXl6SIo
— Ellen Graham (@GrahamEllen) February 25, 2017
The event is the first in a series promising a varied programme of events. Check out the full programme here.
San Junipero: A Bisexual Character We Can Actually Admire
Bisexual communities don’t have a lot of luck when it comes to our portrayal in films and on television. Often our bisexuality is no more than a plot point to be forgotten when it’s no longer convenient, or rendered in broad stereotypes and insulting cliches. When we find a great depiction of bisexuality in an unlikely place, that deserves celebrating, says Holly.
(I have tried to keep this article as spoiler-free as possible, but if you don’t want to read any hint of the plot, go and watch San Junipero (Black Mirror series 3, episode 4) on Netflix before reading any further!)
Charlie Brooker’s Black Mirror is a show known for exploring the ways that technology might influence our future. The episodes are often dark, and happy endings are rare. I’ll be honest, it’s the last place I expected to find a beautifully nuanced, proudly bisexual character. But when I… Continue reading
Dear Straight Couples
Dear couples of OKCupid, Plenty of Fish, and Tinder
I am not your unicorn. I’m not interested in threesomes. I don’t want to share my body with people I neither know, nor trust. I’m not going to show up at your apartment with lingerie beneath my trenchcoat and play out your girl/girl/boy fantasy. That’s not to say I don’t enjoy group sex, I just don’t enjoy you, or your approach to it.
I understand that as an unpartnered polyamorous bisexual, I’m expected to be available for casual group sex any time, any place, with as little as an hour’s notice. And to that, I say, “Fuck you, pay me.” I am completely uninterested in casual sex with strangers, and since my profile is quite clear about that, it baffles me that you’d persist in asking.
Why do so many of you insist on rudely propositioning single women online for threesomes?… Continue reading
Raising Our Standards: How to Get Your Local Council to Fly the Bi Flag
It may only be February, but bi activists up and down the country are already planning their activities for Bi Visibility Day 2017, and getting our flag raised is on most of their agendas. But how do they do it?
After successfully hoisting the bisexual flag over Oxford in 2016, Stephanie talks us through the steps.
This is a photo of the Bi flag flying proudly over Oxford Town Hall for the first time on Bisexual Visibility Day 2016. Since I began lobbying councillors and senior staff to make this happen I have acquired a detailed and unprecedented knowledge of flag flying protocol at Oxford City Council, (OCC). Not every council is the same, but most are at least similar. Here’s my handy ‘how to’ guide should any other bi activists feel inspired to give it a go.
Realise it will take time
I first had the idea to do… Continue reading
Giving Up Men is a Slippery Slope
The bi-osphere (geddit!) has reacted angrily to the suggestion from one of our own that we ought to ‘give up men’. Arguments have been made on the basis of gender diversity, self-actualisation and repression.
Our Ed Libby thinks they’re missing one vital point.
Since the Gay Liberation movement first found its feet way back in the 1970s it has been asking bi women to call themselves lesbian, seek only relationships with women, and generally refuse to acknowledge their attraction to anyone else. It was, we were told, not fair to muddy the waters with multi-gender attraction. Better to stick to one and make things easy. It was an act of solidarity, they said. Attraction to one gender is just easier for people to understand. After all, weren’t we all working towards the same goal?
Similarly within the feminist movement, both bi- and heterosexuality were, in some quarters, roundly… Continue reading
“My Sexuality is Relevant to All Parts of My Life”: Parenting while Bisexual