biphobic

You Didn't Hear it From Us 18/05/15

kissHere’s Continue reading

You Didn't Hear it from Us (4/04/15)

360px-Nina_Hartley_01062035Here’s a round-up of some of the news, blogs posts and comment we missed this week.

Activating our Bi-dar: a future for the bisexual community

Radar

Most of us are familiar with the term gaydar.  It is the ‘intuitive’ ability to assess if someone is not straight.  But then, there you have it.  It implies that you can only be gay or straight.  What about all of us bisexuals?  What happens to us when someone erroneously assumes we are straight or gay?  As Shiri Eisner points out in Bi: Notes for a Bisexual Revolution: “Since our bisexuality is not ‘known’ to have any visual markers, we are routinely accused of fraudulence, perceived as invisible, and forced to deal with others’ doubts regarding our identities and our oppression.”

The terms ‘gay’ and ‘straight’ present a simplified and more palatable understanding of how the world works.  In fact, the Western, minority world has a long-standing affinity for binaries – so much so that binarist ways of thinking and acting go unquestioned.  Anthropologists have a term for this: ‘Doxa’ – the stuff that goes without saying.  Good /bad; male/female; child/adult; life/death; straight/gay: are all binarist, seldom questioned, ways of making sense of the world.  Anything in between, that doesn’t fall neatly into one or the other category, is feared and sometimes reviled.

As part of our Judeo-Christian heritage, we tend to divide everything into rigid categories of good and bad so often, we don’t give it much critical thought.  For example, the male/female binary is left unquestioned, and it is assumed to be natural and inherent.  Any person who falls outside that binary is a social outcast.  Puberty, is another example of a liminal state of existence between childhood and adulthood, and as such is often scorned.  Teenagers are depicted in Western culture as individuals who are caught between childhood and adulthood and are therefore unstable and dangerous.  Those stages between life and death are rejected as unnatural and even repulsive because they defy our strict separation between those categories: life and death.  States of being like depression and chronic illness that are between being fully alive and dead, are considered to be something to avoid at all costs.
Continue reading

"No, I'm not straight… or gay": Coming out to new acquaintances

442643366_d0144faf49_z

“I don’t want to closet myself, but I also don’t want to be asked for the thousandth time which gender I’d choose if I had to, or if I’m down for a threesome”

Amanda Gun looks at the often complicated process of explaining your sexuality to people you’ve just met…

One of my friends recently moved to London, and is staying in a  hostel until she finds more permanent accommodation. She’s been hanging out with a group of boys who are also staying there, and while she thinks they’re perfectly okay to hang out with for now, she doesn’t really want to stay in touch – and because she’s not the type to shout it from the rooftops, she hasn’t come out to them yet.

That isn’t a problem in itself, most of the time (I am of the school that if you feel comfortable coming out, you probably… Continue reading