Orange is the New Crack: OMG, What Will Happen Next?!

After binge-watching our way through the third season of cult jail-bird drama Orange is the New Black, we decided to take a look at our tea leaves (and soggy biscuit crumbs) and figure out exactly what might be next in store for the residents of Litchfield… SPOILER ALERT, OBVS!

1. Crazy Eyes finds lurve

Her alien tentacles bring all the girls to the recreation yard! And OMG, how cute is her new little Dandelion? Ms Eyes seems a little unsure of it all as yet, but we reckon that come season four, they’ll be rockin’ that broom cupboard like there’s no tomorrow.

2. Shit gets real with the Piper-Alex-Stella love triangle

Is it wrong that I find the idea of a gentle brawl between Alex and Stella – maybe in the shower room – a little distracting? Mmm…  More hate-fucking please. Why call it a triangle if you don’t connect all the sides?

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3. Nicky comes the hell back

No no no no no. Nicky is NOT gone forever. She’s tough, she’s smart and most importantly of all Red has her back.

4. Bennett does too

I dunno. Either Cesar has him trussed up in a garage somewhere or he’s been hoofed out of his job (or worse) thanks to blabbing tongues. It’s clear we’re unlikely to see him in Litchfield in person again but I’m holding out for a letter or something. He’s a good guy. He would NOT just bugger off like that. We all know this.

5. Fuck it, maybe they all just… stay free?

But, like, someone manages to release Nicky from max first and Daya somehow finds Bennett. Yeah.

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Charlotte Dingle

Charlotte 'Lottie' Dingle is Biscuit's founding editor. When she's not running freelancing for a diverse bunch of clients ranging from Cosmo to Occupy, she enjoys teaching life drawing, discussing life/the universe/everything with her beloved (but smelly) 22-year-old cat, writing flash fiction for her MA course, getting pretentious tattoos, listening to folk music, creating surrealist art, trying to change the world and drinking red wine. Oh, and My Little Pony. Don't forget My Little Pony. Her favourite biscuits are cream crackers (do they count as biscuits?).

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