Parties means cake. Here at Biscuit we are not cake bakers, but we are cake eaters, and that’s why we had our in-house culinary expert (she has a GCSE in Food Technology) develop this easy bisexual pride cake that even the most noviscular of novices – ie your Biscuit eds. – can manage.
You might notice that the bisexual element of the cake is hidden – some might say invisiblised – beneath a completely innocent looking facade. We couldn’t possibly comment.
Here’s how it’s done.
For the cake:
340g (12 oz) plain flour
340g (12 oz) caster sugar
340g (12 oz) room temp butter
six medium eggs
1.5 teaspoons baking powder
Food dye in pink, purple and blue
butter for greasing
For the buttercream filling:
375 (13 oz) icing sugar
225g (8 oz) softened butter
drop of vanilla extract or essence
For the fondant icing:
250g ( 9oz) fondant icing su – oh, who are we kidding. We bought it ready made. Here’s Saint Delia’s recipe, if you fancy having a bash.
You will also need:
Wooden and metal spoons, a few big-ish bowls, a weighing scale, two or thee 7inch sandwich tins (we used silicone, but metal is fine), a cooling rack and a palette knife or something similar.
For ease (and laziness), we’re using the all-in-one method, which means simply sifting your flour into a bowl then adding in the sugar, butter, eggs and baking powder and beating until your arm hurts. The batter should be a pale yellowish colour and free from lumps.
Next, split your batter between three bowls. Our expert suggests weighing the mixture but (due to aforementioned lazineness) we just eyeballed it. To each bowl add either blue, purple or pink food colouring, according to the manufacturers instructions, and mix well. We used this Wilton Colour Right System because it sounded mega fancy and also because it was 50% off.
Spoon the mixture into your greased sandwich tins.
Bake each cake for 18-25 minutes depending on your oven, or until a skewer poked into the centre of the cake comes out clean. Baking more than two cakes at once may result in uneven results, so it’s best to pop the layers in the oven one or two at a time.
Leave the cakes to cool and make the buttercream filling.
In a bowl (or oversized Gruffalo mug), combine the butter and icing sugar and salt using a wooden spoon, adding a drop of vanilla essence or extract when the mixture has come together. Beat until the mix is pale and fluffy and doesn’t look lumpy. Alternatively, you can buy ready made buttercream in most supermarkets. You’d probably need about two tubs for this cake.
When the cakes are thoroughly cooled, spread each with a layer of buttercream and assemble – if you’d like to mimic the bi pride flag start with the blue layer on the bottom, then top it with purple and finally blue. Just like we were meant to. Use the rest of the buttercream to cover the outside of the cake.
Put to one side while you prepare your fondant.
Roll your fondant into a thin disk measuring around 13 inches depending on the height of your assembled cake. Using a rolling pin, or the tube your pre-made fondant came on, gently pick up the fondant and lay across your cake, taking care to place the fondant as centrally so you don’t end up with any bald bits later.
Using (clean!) hands smooth the fondant down the sides of the cake, pressing out bubbles and folds as you go. People who do this frequently and/or professionally are presumably made of magic because it is basically impossible to get a completely crease free cake. Honestly. We gave up trying and just attempted to hide the creases at the back instead. Decorate the top, if you like, or just whack a sprig of the nearest plant on top like we did and get your Instagram on.
Finally, demand someone else does the mountain of washing up you’ve created. You just made a cake, fer Christ’s sake.