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“My Sexuality is Relevant to All Parts of My Life”: Parenting while Bisexual

child-355176_1920Being a bi parent is a bit like having a super power. A super power that you really don’t want and which gives you the ability to feel both highly conspicuous and completely invisible. An impostor in Parentland. It feels isolating, but I am certain I am around other queer people on a daily basis who feel just as closeted as I do by the culture that surrounds parenting infants.

I think an identity shift when becoming a parent is quite common, but my sexuality is something that has stayed consistent. I have always been bi, even before I knew that that was what I should call myself. This is not the same for everyone, and that’s perfectly valid too. My sexuality would still matter even if I only started identifying as bi since becoming a parent, or last week, or just yesterday.
Clearly, a children’s play… Continue reading

“It boils down to visibility in the end”: We talk to Marcus Morgan about CaBiRet

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Following the success of CaBiRet in October, and with whispers on the wind of another event in the new year, we caught up with Marcus Morgan of the Bisexual Index to find out how CaBiRet came about – and what we can hope for in the future. 

Hello Marcus. Let’s get right down to business. How did the idea for CaBiRet come about?

As August progressed I found myself looking ahead to Bisexual Visibility Day. Looking ahead but not so much looking forward. I realised that although there were things planned for the launch of the book I’d been involved with, Purple Prose, I didn’t have any bisexual events I could go to for Bi Visibility Day itself.

There wasn’t anything in London on the day?

That’s right. And not just geographically – the sort of event I would want to go to wasn’t happening. I have very fond… Continue reading

Calling Bisexual Poets!

77145_166372606726066_7259951_nINCITE@The Phoenix WC2 is putting out a call to all bisexual poets to come to, perform at and enjoy our September Celebration of Bisexuality on Wed  14th September – just in time for bi visibility day.
We are looking for established poets for a 20 min guest spot, and all types of poet for our open mic section.
In September our theme is: Who Why and How we are.
INCITE is a free monthly LGBT Poetry event supported by Camden LGBT Forum. It showcases poetry as diverse as our community, in an iconic West London venue.
Please check out our facebook page INCITE poetry or contact me, Trudy, by emailing lgbtpoetlaureate@gmail.com

 

“Shoot Out”: Why Orlando Shows The US Needs Better Gun Control

surreal-884695_1920I am fortunate enough to live in a country where it is very difficult to buy a gun.  Difficult but not impossible. I know men with guns, and people who shoot recreationally (clay pigeons, firing ranges) and people who hunt (rabbits, squirrels, vermin on their farms). I once dated a boy who thought a romantic walk held room for shooting squirrels, shotgun over his shoulder and other arm through mine.

I don’t like guns. I don’t like them at all.

Its not impossible to buy a gun here but it is very hard and the last time we had a mass shooting was (I had to pause to look this up) in 2010. Twelve people died and eleven were injured and I can’t help but wonder if maybe that death toll is significantly lower than those coming out of American mass shootings because of the fact that a shotgun… Continue reading

A Response to WikiHow’s Article “How To Tell If Another Woman Is Bisexual.”

bisexual-683939_1920A little while ago bisexual.org brought to our attention a WikiHow article on how to tell if another woman is bisexual. Unfortunately, but not unexpectedly, it reads like a how-to for unicorn hunters and is full of generally creepy and intrusive suggestions. I’m going to give the author the benefit of the doubt and assume they really were well intentioned but just didn’t have any idea how to go about it in a less invasive manner. So I’ve put together some suggestions if you find yourself in that situation that don’t involve spying on her social media and trying to analyse the way she looks at other women’s legs.

1. Think about why you want to know if this other woman is bi.
Are you attracted to her but can’t tell if she’s hitting on you or just a member of the Leslie Knope school of female friendship? Or is… Continue reading

“Sell-Bi Date”: UK Study Will Look At Poor Health Amongst Older Bisexuals

imageedit_1_5866484131We often hear that Britain has an ageing population. General practice is being encouraged to do more to support older patients, and to provide more services out in the community, away from hospitals. Tackling inequalities which contribute to poor health is an important component in responding to the needs of an ageing population. Despite this, there is very little research which considers how to support older LGBT people within general practice healthcare, and even less which considers the specific needs of bisexual people. “LGBT” research often includes relatively few bisexual people, and frequently doesn’t consider ways in which bi people’s needs might differ from lesbian and gay people’s needs.

This is despite the fact that analysis of general practice survey data and household survey data suggests that bisexual people, particularly women report worse health than lesbian, gay and straight people. The report “Complicated?” produced by the Equality Network, suggested that… Continue reading

Readers’ Coming Out Stories: “I Couldn’t Tell If I Wanted To Be Bowie Or Bed Him.”

drawing-1135457_1920David Bowie raised some major feelings about my sexuality for me by dying and breaking my heart. In my early teens he came out as bisexual and I identified with him. Perplexingly, I couldn’t tell if I wanted to be him or bed him.

From 11 I was at boarding school, and no it wasn’t all girls. From then on, I would say I had a lot of very sweet, lovely, special and very mature relationships with girls and thought nothing of it. At 15 I decided to get shot of my virginity. It seemed a simple solution to a potentially embarrassing problem. No fuss and bother, I had sex with a man. I didn’t do it again for another two years, indication enough that I was not impressed. I really didn’t spend much time wondering if I was the same as the other girls though I felt a… Continue reading

Slurred Lines: Why I Quit Using The Q-Word

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© Margaret Killjoy

“I hate that word, it gives me chills just hearing it. Don’t you know people used to use it with violence?”

We’re sitting outside in the anaemic Scottish sunlight during the summer, myself and a number of older LGBT people, that extended LGBT family we often talk about. In the midst of drinking coffee and catching up I casually refer to myself as queer and one of the women, someone I love and respect, says the above. “It turns me cold,” she adds. I start to talk about the reclamation of slurs, the things that the word queer means to me but it’s obviously not enough to turn the word around for her, and we awkwardly agree to disagree. I don’t understand entirely, I wasn’t there in the 70s, but I understand enough to empathise – their experience isn’t mine and I have no right to dismiss… Continue reading

“Bi, But Not Bisexual”: Being Ace and Biromantic

4764139612_315492e571_bAssumptions based on perception are problematic for all members of the LGBTQ+ community, and maybe especially for individuals who are attracted to multiple genders. We’re often automatically categorized in the eyes of acquaintances or even friends as gay or straight, based only on our clothing choices or mannerisms. Trans people face assumptions about their gender, filed into the not-always-correct categories of male or female because of how they present.

Pansexuals/romantics, bisexuals/romantics, and asexuals/romantics are considered, jokingly to be members of the “invisible triumvirate,” inevitably skipped over in a lot of LGBTQ+ discourse. Polysexuals/romantics are so invisible, they’re not even included in the triumvirate. As I write this, the words “pansexual,” “polysexual,” and “asexual” have been marked as spelled incorrectly, not because they are, but because they aren’t included in the software’s dictionary.

These experiences impact my life quite a bit, given that I, a biromantic asexual, consider myself 2/3… Continue reading

“The Bi-Cycle”: Bi Representation In The US From The 70s To Today

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“The glam rock era brought with it ‘bisexual chic’…”

As I’ve lived my own story, bisexuality has run through cycles of acceptance and denial. I was a kid when Walk on the Wild Side and glam rock were mainstream. The 1970s was a time of “bisexual chic”. Swinging, key parties, and the rest were a direct result of the sexual liberation movement started at Stonewall. Stephen Donaldson actually pushed the Gay Liberation Front to take the cause to the suburbs and middle America. Some did. Newsweek also reported on this bisexual moment. The sexual revolution gave space to gender and sexual minorities. That revolution would all come crashing down, and bisexual visibility with it, when AIDS hit.

In the early 1980s, I found my gay ghetto as I became an adult. We had bars, parties, districts where we were safe. Then AIDS hit. Safe space was hard to find for… Continue reading